9/29 Dance Party, Spam

September 29th, 2012 · 9 Comments · By

This post goes out to the spammers.  Thank you for realizing the ideal of automatic writing.  I can hardly type right now, my brain is so jammed with semantic loops. Spammers, I invite you to join Greater Charlottesville for a dance party at The Bridge – 8pm, it’s free – to celebrate the success of Audio September, their excellent has done great job this month putting challenging and inexpensive thought operas on board house!

From the spam files:

“Nothing beats my old Ugg boot. They are and also feel low-cost. I additionally feel as if my personal toes would proceed all the way through the very best after a couple of dons.”

“He has not forgiven himself because his sin was too great. Taking Keith from the world was too much for his soul.”

“Keeping your coupon stash filled with expired coupons is a despoil of rhythm and spondulicks since the muddle keeps you from determination the coupons that are most advantageous to you.”

And saving the best for last…

“Im a sucker for my personal dazzling wow gold! So thrilling & tremendously gay.” -from warcraftgoldonline24

Tags: Uncategorized

9 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Jack // Sep 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    bonfire after danceparty

  • 2 Jack // Sep 29, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    And heaps of WOWgold

  • 3 dylan // Sep 29, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Hi, I’m playing a special NU DEPTH set tonight at the Bridge in addition to the dance party : )

  • 4 dylan // Sep 29, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    lol spammers

  • 5 James // Sep 30, 2012 at 2:30 am

    A true story: in the spring of … 2007, I believe?, I started to receive an alarming number of spam emails in my personal email account, many of which had strange first-person declarative sentences of an unusual nature as their subject lines. I started saving them in a folder, and eventually just set up a spam filter that would just accumulate them automatically over the course of the next few months. Read as a group, they seemed to imply this weird obsessive narrative, as if they were all unhinged letters from the same writer (although the credited authors ranged from Kory to Armando to Faustino to LaVerne, and the contents were always just Viagra ads or whatever).

    That December, at the Tea Bazaar, Matthew Clark hosted an event called the “Hidden Talent Show,” at which many fine and hilarious performances occurred (there are plenty of stories about that left over for another post…) Anyhow, my contribution to the talent show was that I printed out this list of email subjects (organized alphabetically) and read them aloud, hoping the ensuing bit of text would add up to some sort of Delillo-ish or perhaps even Beckett-esque monologue, a weirdly confessional paranoid rant or justification that would reveal (or maybe not!) some sort of ultimate inner truth about the imagined writer/speaker (not me! — at least I hoped that part was clear).

    I was also completely wasted that night (it being Christmas, and this being around the time when the Tea House staff still regularly consumed whiskey as if it was water), so only the folks who were in the audience that night will be able to attest (then again, maybe not?) as to whether my delivery approached a witty, enlightening performance, or merely an incoherent ramble, but I thought it was a good idea at the time, and kind of still do.

    Again, actual details of that evening are rather fuzzy, but according to my records (and appearing here in print for the first time!!!) is the full text of spam subject lines that I think I read that night:

    ——

    l desired emotional closeness (i.e. intimacy).
    l didn’t want to disappoint the person.
    l felt like it was my duty.
    l flnd you interesting
    l know you love thls music
    l saw your pic
    l wanted a “spiritual” experience
    l wanted my partner to notice me.
    l wanted the adventure/excitement.
    l wanted the person to love me.
    l wanted to boost my self-esteem.
    l wanted to break up a rival’s relationship by having sex with his/her partner
    l wanted to break up a rival’s relationship by having sex with his/her partner
    l wanted to breakup my relationship
    l wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
    l wanted to communicate at a deeper level
    l wanted to dominate the other person.
    l wanted to dominate the other person.
    l wanted to end the relationship.
    l wanted to feel closer to God.
    l wanted to feel connected to the person.
    l wanted to feel connected to the person.
    l wanted to feel connected to the person.
    l wanted to feel powerful.
    l wanted to feel powerful.
    l wanted to gain access to that person’s friend.
    l wanted to gain access to that person’s friend.
    l wanted to gain access to that person’s friend.
    l wanted to gain access to that person’s friend.
    I wanted to get a job.
    I wanted to get a job.
    I wanted to get a job.
    I wanted to get a job.
    I wanted to get a job.
    l wanted to get a partner to express love.
    l wanted to get a promotion.
    l wanted to get a promotion.
    l wanted to get a promotion.
    l wanted to get a raise.
    I wanted to get even with someone (i.e. revenge).
    I wanted to get rid of a headache.
    I wanted to get rid of aggression.
    I wanted to get rid of aggression.
    I wanted to get rid of aggression.
    l wanted to give someone a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes,)
    l wanted to help my partner forget about his/her problems.
    l wanted to impress friends.
    l wanted to increase my emotional bond by having sex.
    l wanted to intensify my relationship.
    l wanted to keep my partner happy.
    I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
    I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
    l wanted to lift my partner’s spirits.
    l wanted to punish myself.
    l wanted to punish myself.
    l wanted to punish myself.
    l wanted to punish myself.
    l wanted to put the passion back into my relationship.
    l wanted to release anxiety/stress.
    l wanted to release anxiety/stress.
    I wanted to say “goodbye.”
    I wanted to say “I’ve missed you.”
    I wanted to say “I’ve missed you.”
    I was attracted to the person.
    I was attracted to the person.
    I was curious about sex.
    I was curious about sex.
    I was curious about sex.
    I was curious about sex.
    I was mad at my partner, so I had sex with someone else.
    I was pressured into doing it.
    I was seduced.
    I was seduced.
    I was seduced.
    l wonder why you’re still shy
    l wonder why you’re still shy
    I’d like to show you my pic
    I’d like to show you my pic
    I’m addicted to sex.
    I’m addicted to sex.
    It was expected of me.
    Someone dared me.

  • 6 bank of item // Oct 5, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    Cheapest wow gold are so pleasant and lovable!!! I deliver them for complete softness and ease and comfort!!

  • 7 cheap 3 gold // Oct 24, 2012 at 3:22 am

    The crummy Earth-tone curtains really irks me. Whether it had been a black floor between lights it wouldn’t be as bad. Also should the camera did steady rotations It could have were showcasing the members like dolls. The tranquility of of it would’ve zeroed in within the girls. + what’s using the left-over X-mas tinsel?

  • 8 Marcelo Haptonstall // Nov 3, 2012 at 9:46 am

    Howdy, this is actually a nice posting. You have my vote for this and I’ll bookmark this blog now.

  • 9 Kurt Polin // Nov 4, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    Great post, I’ll bookmark 9/29 Dance Party, Spam.